i'll turn unemployment into a shiny diamond
Tuesday, August 17, 2004 at 09:50AM My little brother is en route to his first year of college at this exact moment. He, my parents and my other brother are road-tripping across a few states to get there and I, for one, am so glad that I don’t live at home, because otherwise, I too would have been drawn into this cross country family debacle. The last time we tried this, I was 3 years old and I had to sit on the hump on the backseat between my older brother and sister, both of whom I eventually learned to love again. It took awhile, though, let me tell you, and if they weren’t family and I weren’t required to love them, this may have been a different story altogether. Yeah. So, I thought, since I have my bro’s new address in his residence hall, I should send him a postcard or something so it’s waiting for him when he gets there. My message was brief and to the point:
Welcome to college, squirt!
Good luck, be good, do your homework and don’t be shy. Don’t drink until you’re 21. If you do, which I’m sure you will, don’t overdo it because, let’s face it, you’re a puker. Drugs are bad; druggies are stupid. Coke is for dirty cokeheads. Despite their late-night allure, be wary of packaged snack foods—remember what happened to my ass? It took me a whole year to get bck down to my fighting weight. Make friends immediately with the person on your floor who has a car, then find some real friends who appreciate you and your weirdness. If your roomie is a jerk, tell him your punkass older sister will beat him to death with a shovel if he messes with you. And I will too.
Love, Ahe
In other news, I am adding a couple of new links to my list thanks to the glory of that “Next Blog” button on Blogger. Phoebe over here is pretty funny and politically/socially savvy. She is kind of a gawker lite, but with a more journal-y feel. I especially like this entry, which addresses Victor Hanson’s silly pile of trash. I’ve seen the issue kicked around in several areas and I think I like her take the best. Simple and to the point. Phoebe is, however, disappointingly calm. I prefer more vitriol in my blogs, and by “vitriol,” I mean “obscenities.”
Popular Cult, shares the same layout, but little else. Sara discusses mostly music and the DC Show scene with some other random tidbits thrown in. We likes her, we do, and this essay on the death of punk makes me laugh. Not like Dead Baby Jokes make me laugh, though.
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