Each morning I get up I die a little

I am on hold right now with some prick in A/P who is trying to tell me that they still haven’t received the receipts I faxed over even though I have sent them THREE times in the last week and he won’t just let me interoffice the originals to him or, I dunno, WALK THEM UPSTAIRS seeing as how A/P is three floors above me because that would be against their stupid fake policy and who the fuck took my three-hole punch?  I am thanking everything I hold holy for the existence of headsets, without which I would be all shoulder cramps and earaches by now. 

Speaking of earaches, I want to meet the person who chose this hold music and kick him/her until my shoes wear out.  Song #1: “It Ain’t Over ‘til It’s Over,” one of many reasons why Lenny Kravitz is going straight to hell.  Song #2:   That actually very nice cover of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole which really depresses me because A) he’s dead and B) I’m betting you didn’t know his as “Israel Kamakawiwo’ole,” but rather, “that big fat, Hawaiian guy.” Song #3: Mariah Carey, “Heartbreaker,” which has the dubious distinction of being so bad and yet, so very, very catchy.  And as Song #3 winds down, Song #4 begins and it is…oh for the love of god!  It’s that fucking Maroon 5 song.  ARGH!  If I were truly omnipotent, I would make it cease to be, but as I am not (yet), I can only shake my fist at Maroon 5.  DAMN YOU, DAMN ALL OF YOU!!! 

Snargle.  In other news, those awesome british boots with which I fell in love a couple of days ago totally do not fit, and it’s not because I have fat calves, it’s because they were clearly sized incorrectly, which is the only explanation for the lime green pair fitting perfectly and the baby pink pair…not.  Now, I understand that perhaps spending a hundred dollars on almost completely unwearable, neon boots with a cartoon girl on the side may have been a questionable purchase, but I really, really wanted them.  Badly.  Stupid boots.  So, instead of cute new boots, I bought a bunch of new hosiery from Nordies that I will put holes in no matter how careful I try to be, some completely essential bath products from LUSH, and (shh, lean in really close and promise not to tell anyone, for this is slightly embarrassing) Ella Enchanted on dvd.  It made me feel better and forced me to remove Gilmore girls: Season One from my dvd player, because honestly, I was beginning to become a little addicted to my Luke and Lorelai high.  Heh, that totally rhymes.  As for the movie, I think I have previously discussed having a crush on Anne Hathaway, but I really think I am going to have to upgrade that to being totally in love with her and supremely jealous at the same time.  It’s just not fair.  She is gorgeous, tall, has wonderful hair and huge lips, can act (better than HIllary Duff and Lindsay Lohan anyway), can sing (also better than HIllary Duff and Lindsay Lohan, but also, she can REALLY sing), dance, oh, AND, she has a great rack.  So not fair.

Hmm.  I bet after that last sentence, this site is going to get a lot of hits from people searching for “Anne Hathaway” + “great rack.”

Comments

[Avi]

No mention of that hangover, I see...that would have made a great entry, for serious.

[jordan]

what boots were these? could i fit them? i want cartoon girls on my shoes!

[Annie]

what is the title of the post from?

and i'm in love with anne hathaway too. seriosuly.

[Ahe]

mmm, it is from queen's "somebody to love."