do you want to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing?

Oh the glory of autumn.  Boots, scarves, sweaters and what’s that you say?  The new fall television lineup?  Thank you, North Shore, for melodrama and bad acting and putting Shannen Doherty on the same show as Brooke Burke so we can see the catfight stirring just under the surface of the screen.  Thank you, America’s Next Top Model, for bringing the vacuity, the vanity and the one, the only, Janice Dickerson.  Thank you, Smallville, for, well, for Tom Welling naked Terminator-style. Thank you, Gilmore Girls, for the Luke-Lorelai love and for making me hate know-it-all Rory even more now that she’s a homewrecking whore.  Thank you, Lost, for giving that one hobbit a job and for…was that a dinosaur?  Is there a dinosaur in that forest?  Thank you, Nip/Tuck for never, ever failing to totally gross me out mentally, physically and spiritually. Thank you, Everwood, for characters I love in situations I hate, for retiring the bangs of sadness and most of all, for Brighton Abbot.  Oh, Bright.  Could I love you more?  And a preemptive thank you to The OC, for the inevitable brightening of my life with fantastical Seth-Davey action.

It is both strange and sad that I really don’t feel that all is right with the world until my television schedule is full.

Speaking of strange and sad, so, I’m at McDonald’s because, well, I love McDonald’s and true love lasts forever.  So yeah, I order a Happy Meal and the woman behind the counter asks me, “Girl or Boy Toy?”  I must have looked at her like she had three heads because she repeated it and then clarified:  “Oh, we have Hello Kitty for girls and GI Joe for boys.” What the fuck is that bullshit?  Thank you, McDonald’s for reinforcing gender stereotypes.  Fuckers.

Comments

[Jonas]

So did you get the Joe or the Kitty?

[Annie]

DUDE! Bitch poured beer on mah weave!

[jordan]

i totally bought everwood on dvd and i can't get iover how much i love it. and how much i love bright. he is a hottie. and delia loves him. i lvoe delia as well. that's what i looked like as a little girl, except, well, not white.

[Jessica]

That one hobbit is my very favorite hobbit and I am in love with him.

[Ahe]

yes, jessica, but what of the dinasaur? WHAT of the DINOSAUR!!! dom mona-whatever is pretty cool and he was really cute on lost. my very favorite hobbit is pippin, though. he makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

and jonas, i got the joe. GO JOE!

[Mali]

why would Brooke Burke and Shannen Doherty get in a catfight? what i did notice about it is that shannen's presence made BB into an EVEN WORSE actress than before. have you ever noticed that when she smiles, it looks like it's going to crack her face?

[melinda]

is it sad that when i read that part about you looking at the mcdonalds lady like she had three heads, the first thing i thought was "baby born with three heads? ...must be from brooklyn."

[racist steve]

What makes you think it's a dinosaur? That's what they want you to think. IT CAN'T BE A DINOSAUR! That's just too easy, and the show would plummet if that were the case. My theory is either A) Giant fucking mosquitoes that are so big they can't even fly so they have to climb trees when they aren't toppling them over. B) One of the stranded-folk is a mutant that turns into a flesh-eating beast at inopportune times. C) A polar bear. D) All of the above.

[Ahe]

I dunno, Steve, I think there's a market for the lovechild of Land of The Lost and Gilligan's Island.