It’s a crowd favorite—everyone loves a good jazz square
Tuesday, January 23, 2007 at 08:31PM So here I am again, with nothing to write about but television. Which is a lie, of course—I have plenty to blog about, but the vast wasteland? Much more my speed right now. Talking about television is just a nice way of not talking about other stuff, if you know what I mean. I avoid; you’re vaguely entertained—everybody wins. Unless you don’t watch TV, but then you’ve kind of lost already, haven’t you?
Now, let’s be honest here—I’ve been watching a lot of TV for a lot of years and not that much surprises me anymore. I don’t mean to say that I know everything that’s going to happen before it happens (although, that one time my mom was watching Alias and Jennifer Garner was having a dream sequence about a birthday party and I said, dude, when they cut that cake, it’s totally going to bleed and IT DID), but I think we can all agree that network television is predictable once you’ve settled into the pattern of the show. Really, on Lost, someone is going to turn out not to be who they say they are, really? Really, Lorelai and Rory are going to act like flaming idiots and totally screw up their love lives, really? Really, those Heroes are going to band together and save the world, really? Really, those Winchester brothers manage to defy death at every turn when they’re the ONLY TWO LEADS in the damn show and thus, are never going to die, really? I absolutely relish when something actually catches me unawares, like when that semi ploughs into the Metallicar in the first season finale of Supernatural or when evidence that Veronica Mars’ adorable dweeb Cassidy was actually a psychotic arch-fiend started to pile up at the end of last season.
Which brings me to my point—Friday Night Lights is not only the best show you’re not watching, it’s pretty much the best show on television right now. Hand to god. Yes, I know it’s a football show, but as I have said before, it’s about football and it isn’t. It’s about a town so small that football is all there is—everyone, from the players to the coaches to the families to the other students to the business owners in town, everyone is somehow bettered by, beholden to and in no small way, enslaved by the game. You know how The Godfather isn’t really about the mafia; it’s about family and the America Dream? Like that, but less violent. It also distinguishes itself by being the only show I’ve seen in awhile that a) doesn’t telegraph the final sequence from the first act and b) shows people doing things real people actually do and saying things real people actually say. The show also has a lovely habit of subverting tired Very Special Episode tropes—for instance, a pretty-boy football player appears to be too lazy and coddled to do his own homework and one of the nerds (who sings in a Christian death meal group called Crucifictorious, naturally) assigned to tutor said running back exclaims in absolute earnest: “Oh my god! You can’t read can you? You’re one of those kids who just slipped through the cracks.” At first, you think, dude, I can’t believe they’re going there, but no, this jock is exactly what he appears to be—too lazy and too coddled to do his own damn homework. It’s kind of a revelation, really. I mean, sure, I am all about pretentious, pede-conferencing assholes. I love big, dumb aliens. I cannot get enough of those angels from God on a mission to burninate my underpants. Also? JACK BAUER IS A FUCKING PIMP. Sometimes, though, you need something substantial to go with all the candy, you know?
Speaking of candy, last week’s long-awaited Justice League episode of Smallville was so awesome it actually brought tears to my eyes (Tears of joy, though, not tears of immense sadness like the ones I cried during Grey’s Anatomy. Yes, HELL yes, I cried, I cried like King Bitch of Little Bitch Mountain!). So, yeah—the Justice League episode was totally ace. Explosions! Kid Flash being all adorable and stuff! Evil, Snarky Lex! Ollie dumping that hag Lois to go fight evil across the world! Rampant HoYay! GLEE!
Speaking of HoYay, Eric Kripke and company over at Supernatural certainly banged one out for the fangirls, didn’t they? That whole drunk scene, seriously was Make-Out City. Seriously? Seriously. I have brothers and sisters, okay, and there are frriggin lines you do not cross (unironically), man. Okay, sure, fine, maybe I’ve never had to beg anyone to kill me in the event that I turn into a telekinetic murderer, but, brothers do not grab each other by the FACE and try to pull each other into the goddamn bed! No matter HOW drunk they are! And THEN, they don’t even hug or anything. I mean, what the fuck?
Luckily for me, on Heroes last night, the Brothers Petrelli upped the ante in what appears to be a round of dueling banjos with Supernatural, if by “banjos,” you mean “gay incest.” Nathan kissed Peter. Yes, on the cheek, but still, he followed it with “I love you,” all breathy and emotional. BEAT THAT, SUPERNATURAL! The gauntlet has been fucking thrown, CW. NBC is challenging you to a BroYay!Battle and you know what? Dean? Sam? You just got served. Those Petrellis give us hugs and cuddles and neck-snuffles and good old-fashioned eye-fucking, but you Winchesters are nothing but dirty teases! All we get are a shoulder pat here, an almost hug there and one blessed moment of face-touching and the rest is just yap yap yapping with meaningful gazes. Goddammit, Sam! The next time you get all drunk and grabby, you shut your whore mouth and kiss your brother!
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Reader Comments (21)
Yes, John, I have seen the movie, which is even MORE awesome than the TV show.
Watched "The Wire" last night tho, that was some delicious TV right there, does it not make the Ahe list? It seems somewhat non-traditional in it's plotting.
Did you watch SNL this weekend? The weekend update people do a funny segment that requires them to say "really" as much as you did in that section. Funnnny stuff.
"Jack Bauer saves the day on season finale of 24"
The shock was overwhelming to me. Jack Bauer? Saving the day? In the season finale? It seems so....improbable some how.
=0
because you go with the less common zero rather than the letter capital O.
the flatter shape in =0 seems much more disgruntled/confused than the round mouth in =O
I don't know what it is about all these fans going on about Wincest-er but I did not think it was even close to that. It was all brotherly love, period. If there ever is going to be any action with both boys on the same bed, it's going to be with me in between.
:)